Saturday 18th March 2006
Phew the weekend....today is the day when we...wait for it, prepare to be amazed...I help Mandy's dad move his shed....yup I thought you'd be impressed...That was it, the highlight of my Saturday, oh yeah that and selecting Jacks birthday present (a bike)

Sunday 19th March 2006
Ok today is better we're off to Moors Valley country park down near Bournemouth.
The lunch is packed, flask made, sprogs at the ready...except Ryan who has unfortunately got to do a rehearsal for his lead in the local amateur dramatic societies edition of Rumplestiltskin, the musical...probably nattily entitled Rumple! or something like that ending in an exclamation mark.

So it's just we three and Mandy's sister Tina, her other half Andy and Rebeccanator who's 5.

It takes us about an hour to get there...I even managed to avoid the person who was changing lanes (slow to middle) at the same time as me (fast to middle) and I didn't even swear (quite some feat for me).

We made it there about midday, so naturally it's got to be lunch time right ? Wrong, no no we have to walk for at least 1/2 an hour first obviously..... Still very cold for the time of year so a brisk walk down to the minature railway is the order of the day. We purchase a round trip ticket...so we get the full benefit ;-)).

Then we decide to hire Jack a bike so he can have a scoot about. Rebecca has brought her one with her. We turn up at the bike hire office, and Mr Personality asks "Hello, can I help you....", "erm yes I'd like to hire a bike please" quite what else I wanted I don't know but I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt. "A childs bike is it ?", "yes" I reply, "and how old is the child...." now then had I been on my own this would have been a reasonable question but since the "child" in question was stood next to me it was fairly obvious I thought....I hand over my credit card and he punches in the daily charge and I punch in my pin number "did you want to pay for it all on the credit card ?" ...looking even more confused I reply "yes", I toyed with the idea of saying "No blood for half of it please..." but I'm not sure he'd have coped and if he'd had to show some emotion I'm sure he'd have exploded....and he fills out a credit card slip then proceeds to scrape all the plastic off the front of my card in one of their clever little slidy machines...christ we only hired the bike for 1 1/2 hours we've been here 10 minutes already.

We manage to wangle it that Rebecca could have the free helmet hire that came with jacks bike as she was a bit unsteady....we wander around the various activities and then it's time to head back. Luckily for Rebecca no one has rememberred about the helmet (apart from Jack!)...who's decided to question me quite loudly too close to the cycle hire shop. I have to cut him down quickly so that's him in a strop for the rest of the day...kids, are just too honest really aren't they.

Mandy is driving back since I can't keep my eyes open...I awake to her calling to Jack if he's seen Aunty Tina...but it's ok we're heading in the right direction this time!!....

Monday 21st March 2006:
08:00: Another Monday another £7.36. I've dropped Ryan off at school with his many bags, he has cooking today (God help us). We've only just persuaded him that chilli crumble really wasn't a good idea, so he's going with Apples and Pears (a bit of a relief to be honest)

09:00: Today is slow....very very slow....

10:00: Done some fiddling around checked the hiccups...all seems ok....

12:00: Lunch

12:10: Just home, for lunch...strangely Mandy is upstairs and not in the kitchen making it for me....She come's down and immediately I can see something is up, so I ask her "what's up ?", "well I'm a bit annoyed really...", "really? " I ask, "yes well the car was making a funny noise so I got my dad to have a look at it and the back brakes have just gone..." now I'm getting the feeling that I'm being blamed for this....any how to cut a long story short, a heated exchange is then ensued...differences resolved and a "plan" of how to resolve the issue are now in place...Basically I have to get a half day on Wednesday....

13:10: The excitement over I return to work...

14:00: CD-3 is the place to be..."testing DR procedures" yeah right....well it's somewhere to write this and fall asleep if necessary, whilst looking intently at a screen, no-one can tell what you're doing....

17:00: The day comes to a close, really really uneventful...

Tuesday 22nd March 2006

08:30: Made it to work

09:00: Nunob and Bill are in !!!! This must be serious...but no, it's in readyness for the IT Mothers sorry Managment Meeting, where all the managers, and the wannabe managers, and the non managers that think they should be managers go, hob nobbing it with the big wigs....

10:00: Basra is busy in big discussions with Grinn Straycat, and Katy Shark. The Kaizen project is underway and apparently he has to give a presentation...about what no body knows but it does mean he has the perfect excuse to say "sorry I have to do this..." when you ask him a question.

11:00: What I don't understand is the apparent secrecy. Nobody has thought that anyone else might want to know what is going on...but then that's Don't Be Daft all over, if you don't engage people you don't enthuse them...so the non involvement of other people isn't a big shock.

12:30: Lunch

13:30: Back from lunch and there's lots of milling around and managers speaking in big loud voices, each one trying to out manage the other. Nunob is in typically unbelievably byouant mode, so it's of to CD-3 to avoid him for most of the afternoon...

16:00: They're all heading off to their respective hotels..unfortunately it's only running for a couple of days...but that does mean tomorrow and Thursday will be quiet, so some good can come out of it.....

Wednesday 23rd March 2006

08:00: Just dropped Ryan off at school...half day today to get the car towed to the garage to have it's value depreciated by another £500 !!

08:30: Mandy's just phoning the pick up guy, who's told her that nobody needs to go with the car and so I didn't need to take the half day in any case...doh !...Never mind, at least it means we can go to Toys R Expensive...whoopeee !!!!

09:30: In a fit of peak and beligerance I decide to phone the Doctors to get an appointment to be fobbed off about my "post - digestive problems", I'm in luck, one of Dr Ducktons patients has obviously pegged it so I get their "come and have your Flu Jab Mrs Pensioner..." appointment at 11:20.. We don't have much time so we rush down to Toys R Expensive for some unknown reason....

11:15: Parked up the car having just been to Asda-be-more-expensive and spent, well I can tell you a fortune (£40!!!) on a new pair of trousers for me a cardigan for Mandy and some other bits.....I'm off for my ritual humiliation..."knees to the wall"....

11:16: I'm just walking up the ramp to go into the surgery when I distinctly can hear somebody knocking on a window....I look over to the car to discover Mandy in some distress, hammering on the window....I press the button on the remote control and the car unlocks....;-0....

11:20: I've punched in my details on the screen and it tells me to go and sit down...which I do.

11:30: yup been here 10 minutes already....you know if I'd turned up 10 minutes late I've have missed my appointment....

11:35: Finally I get the call and I go and make my way to see the black prince Doctor...I explain that I came before and got referred to Dr Cantbearsed at the hospital who said that I "needed" to have a colonsocopy...I think 'need' is a bit strong...i think he fancied having a prod around with the new colonoscopy machine...and figured I was a good guinea pig...Any how that was back in October...and it's now March. The Doctor phones up the consultants secretary (consultant will be out on the golf course at this time of day).. Well that clears that up then...apparently there's an 8 month waiting list for colonoscopy's....8 MONTHS !!!! I decide to challenge the Doctor about this...saying only "8 MONTHS !!!!..." to which he replies "yes....don't know why...." ah well that's ok then...gulp....

11:45: He's decided that it's too close to lunch time for a physical examination so he's put me down for a blood test and an appointment with the Dietician (the woman that tells you not to eat anything that you like), and oh I was forgetting a sample of my poo....luvely. Now how the hell I'm going to get it in the pot I've no idea...but I'm imagining all sorts of disgusting options at the moment.....

12:00: Finally making our way back home to get some lunch before I return to work for the afternoon.....

13:30: Back at work now....it's no better than before...just quieter with less to do...I could do this at home...I could do some calls, but I just can't be arsed....

Thursday 24th March

07:30: Up with a lark and a burning sensation....off to the loo with my little pot of treasure in hand...Somehow I manage to get it everywhere but where it's supposed to be. The pot is too rigid to turn inside out so I'm going to have to somehow manoever it in. I managed to do this now...but I'm not feeling that well anymore....

08:00: Ryan has already gone to basketball...so I just have to get myself to work....

08:30: Blimey, it's like the Mary Celeste...all we'd need is a few tumble weeds and it would look like it sounds...deserted........